is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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