dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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