Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
