My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
