he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
