Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
