I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have feelings that need drinking.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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