oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
