Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
