Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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