Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
