For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize