omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
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he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
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I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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