Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
