i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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