Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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