Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
