I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
whose ass print is on the piano?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
