See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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