You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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