stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
