Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
