I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
