Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
