The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
