Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
