she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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