I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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