I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
