How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
