I didn't shave. On purpose
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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