we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
