I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
