Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
