That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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