I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
