1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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