how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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