i just wanna soil my oats bro
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
