Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
