Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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