lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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