She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
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Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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