sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
