Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
