This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
