I want to stick my p in your. b.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize