shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
