she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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