apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
