Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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