can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
