Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
