Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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