i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
