another moral hangover. fuck.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
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as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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