my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
