I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
