Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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