Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
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you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
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Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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