I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You dont lie about slip and slides
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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