i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
