so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
