bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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