When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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