At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
