You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
