My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
