the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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