FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
